


Hot Hot Hot (The Chilific)

by I_Live_In_A_Trash_Can



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 06:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14373045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Live_In_A_Trash_Can/pseuds/I_Live_In_A_Trash_Can
Summary: Patton makes chiliThings go a bit downhill.





	Hot Hot Hot (The Chilific)

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my boyfriend for not only giving me the idea for this story but also allowing me to write it on his laptop where it shall forever stay immortalized

The smell of chili wafted through the Mindscape. It was one of those nights where Patton had decided to cook a "special" dish for dinner. In reality, nothing much changed between these nights and normal nights.

An unspoken rule of "special" nights was that everyone had to eat in the living room. No exceptions.

Virgil lingered in his room for as long as he dared before trudging down into the kitchen. He still hated having dinner with the other Sides, but things were getting better. He was much more willing to join in than he had been at first, about a year ago. Plus, things had gotten less awkward. Conversations were easier to start, and he could actually keep his breathing even (most of the time).

Logan already had a bowl and was sitting on the couch. Patton was messing with the stove to help keep the food warm. Roman was nowhere to be seen.

The chili smelled so much better in person. He grabbed a bowl, not realizing how hungry he had been.

"Heya, kiddo! Help yourself," Patton invited, stepping away from the pot.

"Don't mind if I do."

But before he could take a bite of the heavenly chili, a loud call announced Roman's presence.

"Good afternoon, all! Sorry I'm late. Ooo, is that chili? My favorite!"

Virgil rolled his eyes as he scooted a little to the side to allow the Creative Side to access the chili as well.

Roman had retreived a bowl, and he had been about to scoop some of the food into it.

Virgil taste tested a bite, before shaking his head a little. "Not spicy enough." He grabbed a bottle beside the pot and sprinkled a little into it before mixing and taking another bite. He wrinkled his nose at the taste.

Roman's one-uping instinct kicked in and he pretended to sample the chili as well. It had a mild kick to it. "You're right, not spicy enough." He spotted a bottle of Tajin on the counter, and promptly sprinkled some in. He took another bite and pretended to consider, glancing at Virgil to gouge the other's reaction.

The Anxious Side sensed his companions intent. He glanced down at his own bottle.

Maybe he could beat Roman at his own game?

"Hmm, still not quite." He sprinkled some more in, mixing it into his half of the pot before sampling.

Roman dumped a generous amount of Tajin on his half of the pot, stirring it in and taking another bite. The spice stung his tongue and made his eyes threaten to water. He glanced at Virgil. The other's response?

"Maybe a little more..." Virgil poured an appreciable amount into his half of the pot and stirred before taking another bite. He was unmoved.

Roman concealed his shock and replied with a "Yeah, just a little," before sprinkling about half of the bottle in.

The other three watched as Roman stirred his half of the pot, foreboding concoction bubbling wickedly up at him. Patton was trying and failing to hide his giggles. Logan stared at the other in confusion. Patton simply gestured.

Virgil set down his bottle, watching Roman with apparent interest. The Creative Side braced himself before taking a small bite.

Oh God his tongue burned.

"Hmm, I don't know. What about you?" He muttered, trying to ignore the fact that his nose was starting to run.

Virgil shrugged, picking his bottle back up again and removing the cap. "Honestly? It's just not spicy enough. What do you think?"

"I wholly agree," He lied, unscrewing the top of his Tajin as well.

Virgil met Roman's eyes for a second before pouring nearly the entire bottle into the chili.

Roman tilted his bottle bottom's up, emptying it.

The two stirred their respective sides of the pot in silence.

"Should we tell him?" Patton whispered with a giggle.

"Perhaps this lesson should be learned... 'the hard way', so to speak?" Logan replied, a ghost of a smile crossing his face.

The two food-warring Sides locked eyes with each other again. Each took a bite.

_'SWEET MOTHER OF CHILI PEPPERS!'_

Roman gasped, coughing. Virgil remained stone faced. "What, can't handle a little spice, Princey?"

"H-HOW? HOW CAN- HOW- YOU-" All articulate speech was lost as Roman breathed heavily, letting out small whimpers from the pain.

"Milk's in the fridge," Logan called from the living room.

Roman was off like lightning, ripping open the fridge and nearly tearing the cap off of the jug. He chugged the milk straight from the jug, desperate for relief from the sweltering fire that ravaged across his tongue.

Patton burst into laughter, while Logan just chuckled quietly to himself.

Roman looked up at Virgil. He was smirking, arms crossed over his chest.

The Creative Side fumbled with words, nearly dumbstruck with shock, confusion, and pain.

Virgil shrugged, licking his spoon clean before plopping it in the sink and strolling out into the living room. "I guess spicy foods aren't for everyone, hm?"

Roman gulped down more milk in a vain attempt to hide his shame. He dropped the nearly empty jug on the counter, feeling all sorts of miserable. Then he spotted something else on the counter.

Virgil's bottle.

The label read 'Paprika'.

 _"You dirty cheater!"_ He shrieked, flinging the bottle across the room in anger. The bit of paprika left in the bottle sprayed out of it in a majestic arc as it gracefully flew, before unceremoniously hitting the wall and landing with a thud.

The Anxious Side squeaked, caught off guard.

"It was PAPRIKA? You've got to be KIDDING ME!"

"S-sorry, kiddo. I was going to tell you sooner, but I wanted to see how this turned out," Patton said, amusement being replaced by guilt.

"It was too good of an opportunity to pass up," Virgil muttered with a snicker.

"I don't like you," Roman whined before gulping down the last bit of milk.

 

 

Something plopped onto the couch beside him.

Roman glanced up from his drawing to see Virgil standing over him. Beside him on the couch cusion was a fresh bottle of Tajin.

"Sorry about yesterday. You can get me back with that if you want to. Dump it in something? I don't have to know when you do it. I don't care, just figured that would make us even?"

"Virgil, I'm not going to sneak Tajin into any of your food."

The Anxious Side gave a small smile.

"You're gonna eat it all right now."

"Well crap. Guess I deserve this."

Virgil sighed, picking up the bottle and opening it.

"And by the way," Roman began, "I think we were already even? I mean, I've said and done some terrible things to you in the past. That little stunt you pulled made up for it, I guess."

"... Really?"

"Yeah. And honestly, I forgive you. I deserved that." Roman chuckled, setting aside his drawing.

"Does that mean I don't have to eat-"

"You offered, you're still doing it. Besides, this is too good of an opportunity to pass up."

Virgil sighed, ripping off the protective seal. "Patton, is there a new jug of milk in the fridge?" He called upstairs.

"Yup," came the muffled response. "Why?"

"Well, here we go."

Virgil took a deep beath to prepare himself. He lifted the bottle.

"Bottoms up."

**Author's Note:**

> 131 sentences, divided by 7 sentences a "paragraph" equals 18.71~, times 5 equals 93.5.
> 
> Guess who's got 93 1/2 minutes of massages? mEEEEEEEEEEEEE


End file.
